This angry feminist wants to know: what is your favorite reply to daily sexism?

This angry feminist wants to know: what is your favorite reply to daily sexism?
Many times, I don’t know how to respond to the things that irk me in daily or weekly life. How do you reply to these things?
Random strangers saying “Why aren’t you smiling?” or “Smile for me.”
Me: “Because you’re talking to me” or my timeless staple, “Fuck off.” These will usually be answered with the patronizing “Whoooaa.” Yeah, whoa, dickface.
Catcalls or stares.
Me: Usually trying to ignore them. Unfortunately, that just doesn’t make me feel better the way a swift kick in the nuts would. I truly hate this version of excluding women from the public sphere. Often I couldn’t even walk a few blocks to the store on Wilshire when I lived in Santa Monica in sweats without being made to feel like I didn’t have a right to be outside.


Ass grabbed in a crowded bar.
Me: A hard smack to the face when I was in college, when this happened a lot, but if it happens again any time soon it will certainly be a swift and hard Cock Punch. (Grabbing someone is assault, and a Cock Punch is self defense. No joke). I will then notify someone with authority, and sometimes this person will be escorted out of the bar. That is if I know who the perpetrator is. All too often I will turn and not know who it was. This is the worst, and I never know what to do in that case.
Man approaching and asking to buy an unwanted drink, flirting, or asking “Why are you alone?” if I am.
Me: “Not interested.” Or “Do I not have the right to be alone without being bothered?” or “Are you flirting with me? I’m sorry, but no.” However, I want some way to communicate the inherent sexism without getting the patronizing “Whoooaa” (or being loudly insulted as I have been countless times). After all, communicating knowledge may prevent the behavior.
Female friend speaking patriarchal propaganda, including “I just don’t like girls.”
Me: Education! Including the forced reading of Full Frontal Feminism.
I know there are a million more, but I can’t think of them right now. And now a little story for your reading pleasure:
Recently I was at Home Depot looking for Bay to Breakers costume pieces, and being helped by a man who was obviously trying to flirt with me. I left him quickly and was later redirected to him by another employee when I was looking for something else that he happened to be standing by (argh). When he asked how long I wanted a PVC pipe cut (to make a cane) I replied “I’m not sure. My boyfriend’s shorter than me- he’s 5’5″.” To which he replied, “Well that’s rubbing it in” quickly before talking about the cane again. I sort of laughed incredulously at the idea that he would ever think I could possibly have been flirting with him, or that by just saying I had a boyfriend I was somehow breaking his heart, because since I am a woman of course I would want to fuck him if I didn’t have another man in my life. I couldn’t possibly be just a person, but a woman “of marriageable age.” I couldn’t possibly have just been WANTING TO FUCKING CUT A PIECE OF PVC PIPE TO MAKE A CANE AND THEN BE ON MY FUCKING WAY. A few minutes later, he started talking about his wife. What the fuck.
Sure, this guy was a douchebag, but I have experienced this sort of interaction too often to not have a reflexive response. I, who never acts in any way that can be construed as flirty, ever, even when I want to fuck someone. (Do you know what my preferred pickup line is? It’s “Hey, want to fuck?” Seriously. It’s how I picked up on my current boyfriend of nearly two years, who was a feminist long before I came along- but he didn’t call how he felt feminism. He called it logic. Interchangeable. But I digress). If my boyfriend had been there and heard the guy act the way he did, I can tell you what he would have done. He would have done nothing, because it’s understood in our relationship that, if it involves me and physical contact is actually necessary (rare), it’s my fight and he’s there for backup (and vice versa). He would never, ever deny me the first Cock Punch.
Tell me if you can think of any other situations, and how you respond as well (or how you would respond). The more options the better!

Disclaimer: This post was written by a Feministing Community user and does not necessarily reflect the views of any Feministing columnist, editor, or executive director.

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