When our friends leave us for their boyfriends.

It’s so common. You and her have been best friends since you both were 14, and the older you get, the less you hang out. Not because you don’t love the shit out of each other, but because she tends to spend much more time with her boyfriend, and <I>his</i> friends, rather than her own.

Why is this so common among hetero women?

When I confront my girlfriends, they basically say that as we get older, we just naturally spend every waking moment with our significant other. And that it’s just "growing up".

Yes, I understand that when we get older, we spend less time with our friends, and more time with our husbands, wives, kids, whomever. We have more responsibilities. But why then, do our girlfriends spend so much time with him and HIS FRIENDS?

Maybe I’m just bitter. But I was discussing the movie "I love you, man" with my boyfriend, and I was saying how awesome it is that both people in the relationship respect the others need for outside relationships. And it made me think about how jealous I am of the woman in the movie and all of her awesome friends in the movie.

I personally think that women believe that guys won’t want to hang out her and her friends, because of __(insert sexism here)____.

But guys bring their girlfriends along to hang out with them, because the women are okay with hanging out with him and his buddies. It almost seems like women don’t believe their friends are worthy enough for the boyfriend to hang out with them. Or that their boyfriend might not like her friends. They want to keep it separate but unequal. 

I know that some women share friends with their signifigant other. But what about the women that pretty much don’t hang out with their girlfriends anymore?

I mean, maybe I don’t have the right friends, or maybe my friends aren’t the perfect feminists. But whatever the reason, it sucks and I feel I’m probably not the only one. I want to know everybody else’s take on it.

Disclaimer: This post was written by a Feministing Community user and does not necessarily reflect the views of any Feministing columnist, editor, or executive director.

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