Not Oprah’s Book Club: The Purity Myth

Another video version of Not Oprah.

Check out Jess’ book, RH Reality Check, and Shelby Knox’s work.
Transcript after the jump.


NOBC, coming to you on Wednesday this week because Jessica and I switched days. In any case, I just finished Jessica’s new book, The Purity Myth, last night and so I decided not to review it–so to speak–but to react to it here on video for y’all today. I’m guessing a lot of you have checked it out by now as well and have a lot to contribute as far as thoughts and reactions.
If you haven’t, essentially Jess is arguing that there is a moral panic over women’s virginity that isn’t good for anybody. She writes, “It’s high time to do away with outdated–and dangerous–notions of virginity. If young women’s only ethical gauge is based on whether they’re chaste, we’re ensuring that they will continue to define themselves by their sexuality.”
So here is that thing that initially blew my mind: that virginity doesn’t actually exist. Okay, I’d thought about that a little, but it really hadn’t sunk in. Reading this part of Jess’ book sort of felt like when I was in South Africa studying abroad in college and finally encountered the truth that race, technically, doesn’t exist. Both things–virginity and race–play a massive role in the way our lives are shaped, but scientifically speaking, both are mostly bogus.
But the trouble with this kind of knowing is what to do about it, right? I mean knowing race doesn’t technically exist doesn’t mean you can start acting like Stephen Colbert and pretending to be color blind. Likewise we can act like our societal value on purity isn’t affecting girls just cause it’s bullshit. So I came up with a few things we can personally do in reaction to the learning that virginity doesn’t exist:
1. Language matters. Stop talking about the first time you “lost your virginity” and start just referring to it as sex–especially when you’re interacting with younger women.
2. Tell people far and wide about the fact that there is no scientific defn. of virginity.
3. Get involved in the movement to make sex ed comprehensive far and wide! Check out RH Reality Check, Shelby Knox’s work, and other great blogs for the best way to do that.
And don’t miss Jess on the Today Show tomorrow morning, with none other than Kathie Lee Gifford. Can’t wait. Break a leg, Jess.

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