An Open Letter to The Woman in the Back of the Room

Dear Woman Who Sits in the Back of the Classroom,

We have been in this community college class together for a couple of months now, but I can’t say that I have ever taken notice of anything you have said – until last night’s class when we were talking about gender.  I find our sociology class about problems in society to be fairly basic.  I have a degree in Gender and Women’s Studies and Political Science, so I know I can get pretty high and mighty about gender issues at times.  But I have to say, you really pushed my buttons a little bit yesterday when you expressed that individuals with no discernable gender caused you “repulsion”, and that feminists are “whiners”.  I suppose I might be enforcing your stereotype of feminists here (which even I think is a little bit funny), but your comment about gender ambiguity was pretty offensive. 

Now, I can understand that you have an opinion and I am sure that you are able to give examples to back up your arguments.  And I believe that most people would say that you are entitled to your opinions.  Ok, fine.  But what I wonder is this: Is this how you want to be seen by your classmates?  You took a shot at two different groups of people, you “went negative” as we might say in a political campaign.  You, in no uncertain terms, made it clear to the class that you did not approve of, are not comfortable with and do not associate yourself with certain groups of people. 

So what is your real message then?  Perhaps you consider yourself bold, willing to stand up against society and speak your truth.  Perhaps you are trying to share a message with us who have it all wrong.  Well friend, I have to say, you are misjudging society.  Our country is becoming MORE tolerant and open-minded, not less.  Our country put a black man in office with an overwhelming majority.  And if you’re sick of hearing about that, then consider this: Lawrence v. Texas struck down homophobic sodomy laws in 2003.  Feminist such as Eve Ensler are working towards a violence-free world for women, children and men – by doing work in the USA as well as around the world.  Our teacher passed around a book by Kate Bornstein, a transgender individual who tours college campuses to speak about sex and gender. 

Honestly, I don’t know you, and you don’t know me.  I know that you made some disparaging comments in class.  I also know that you are a woman.  So I find it interesting that you sit smugly in the back of class, taking jabs at feminists while you are clearly benefiting from their work.  You think us women were just handed the right to further our education?  You think that we in America were graciously granted the right to vote when we asked nicely?  Do you know about Title IX, which increased female high school sports participation by 904%?  Are you aware that sexual harassment in the workplace is illegal?  Also, I see that you were wearing pants last evening – were you aware that it was not always acceptable for women to wear pants, and the first few who broke this taboo were suffragettes, and their wardrobe was frowned upon? 

It takes a lot more than whining – it has taken marching, sitting in, writing legislation, being supportive, and being open-minded.  It has taken hunger strikes, divorce, abuse, harassment and even death.  It has taken years and years and years for women to stand where we do.  And it’s going to take even more hard work to bring about the social change necessary to create a world safe for our gender-bending brothers and sisters.

Feminists have fought hard for these issues, and we will continue to do so, whether or not you acknowledge our work, the sacrifices we make, or that you live a life privileged by our actions.  You’re welcome.