AOL’s “13 Ways to Keep Your Husband Happy”

Right before I log into AOL to check my mail, this shows up and I can’t help but read it.
This is one of the most ridiculous things I’ve read. Here are some gems:
“1. After washing your beautiful locks, don’t forget to pick up your hair from the shower drain. It may not bother you but he doesn’t like untangling your hair from his big toe.”
“4. Speaking of…, don’t let yourself go. That doesn’t mean you must maintain a certain weight or length of hair for the sake of your marriage, but it is a gesture of love to take pride in your appearance. You may expect the same from him and you both deserve a mate that is clean, showered, shaved and cares about their health.”
“11. Remember all those bodily functions you tried to keep discreet while you were in the throws of wooing him? Just because you have been married several years and are very comfortable around your beloved doesn’t mean you can now blow, snort and pick to your heart’s content.”
Wow. I can’t even think of a proper description for this. I mean, it’s pretty horrible, but the fact that a woman wrote this almost makes it worse. It’s not just some loser guy who wants to pretend that he knows how women work: it’s a woman who’s actually telling us how we should treat ourselves and our men (which, according to her, is to just be pretty and dainty and make sure he doesn’t hear us fart).
Who decides what gets posted on AOL? A middle school child?

Disclaimer: This post was written by a Feministing Community user and does not necessarily reflect the views of any Feministing columnist, editor, or executive director.

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