Strumming the banjo

Last week I got an email from the Family Research Council containing a WARNING from Big Tony Perkins about “a series of videos” produced by a Planned Parenthood affiliate in Washington state that were “so revolting that members of my staff were visibly shaken.”
What scary reproductive health topics were so disgusting? Were they close-up videos of STIs? Images of two men kissing? Even worse! They featured a girl talking, without shame, about touching herself! Gasp! If you can bear it, watch the offending video (I think it’s pretty work-safe. But, Family Research Council warns, “the material is highly inappropriate for adults.”):

The great irony, to me, is that this video is promoting abstinence from partner-sex. Conservative groups like the Family Research Council are usually all about that message. Apparently not when it means women are enjoying their bodies without shame.
Transcript after the jump, along with a special video dedication to Tony Perkins.

Gal 1: Hey guys
Gal 2: Hey
Gal 3: You wanna come to a party?
Gal 1: I kinda have plans.
Gal 2: Do you have a date?
Gal 1: Kind of.
Gal 3: Who’s the lucky one?
Gal 1: Me, actually. I thought I’d stay in tonight. Probably do a little… strumming the banjo.
Gal 3: Oh! [Laughs.]
Gal 1: What? I like me. I like spending time with me. You know what? Tonight I think I wanna go all the way with me.
Gal 2: Unbelievable.
Gal 1: Plus, it’s not like I can get me pregnant or give me diseases or anything.
Mustache Man: Guys, guys, abstinence can be a beautiful thing, all right? It’s kind of like being a virgin all over again. But you know it’s not easy. So you should give your friend here a little bit of support. How about a hug? Well, go on.
[Gals hug.]

This one’s for you, Tony: