It’s a pregnancy test, not Plan B

You know that scene in Juno where Ellen Page’s character takes pregnancy test after pregnancy test at her local convenience store? Over on the community blog, Aly tells us how the reality can be quite different. She and her friend, both 15-year-olds, went through quite the ordeal trying to buy a simple over-the-counter pregnancy test.

We’re in CVS, searching for a pregnancy test. [“Shouldn’t they be over here?” “I can’t find them! Are they by the tampons?” “Nah, if you’re pregnant, you don’t need those anymore.” “Fuck, should we ask someone?” “Wait, no, I think I found them! No, shit, that’s a yeast infection thing.” “Aly!” “Sorry! They both make you have to pee on them, I think!” “No, you stick the yeast infection one up your snatch.” “Ew, seriously? Sick.” “This is not the time for commentary on the world of yeast infections!”]

As you can see, it was quite an adventure.

We finally find them in a small little corner marked ‘Family Planning’, and we search for the right one. An EPT boasts TWO FOR THE PRICE OF ONE! for thirteen dollars, so we grab that one: two tests means extra reassurance. C.’s hands are shaking so hard that the box is rattling, so I take it away from her and go up to the counter.

The woman in front of us has practically done her grocery shopping here, and is paying in dimes and quarters. We wait for five minutes, Courtney watching the door for my mom.[who is in the car, innocently thinking we are getting pads.] Finally the woman is done, and I plop the pregnancy test on the counter. The clerk is in her late forties, and looks at me, pops her gum, and says, “I’m gonna have to see some ID.”

Read the rest. (It’s official: I’m in love with our community bloggers.)

Join the Conversation