Flirting is Not Professional Development

Betsy Perry has a vacuous rant about flirting in the workplace up over at TheStreet.com that will make your feminist head spin. It’s not only misogynistic (apparently all women talk about is “anorexia, the latest under eye concealer, and J. Sisters bikini wax techniques”), but grossly reinforces traditional definitions of beauty (“The overweight young woman whose bra straps always showed, and who had the unfortunate habit of burping out loud, lasted minutes before being moved quickly to another floor”), and basically suggests that “the male gaze”—that great women’s studies term for feeling watched and judged constantly—is women’s only source of pleasure in their own appearance: “What’s the fun in getting dressed up for work if no one’s around to appreciate the gold-flecked body powder you’ve tossed down your cleavage?”
Ugh. Perry delights in alleging that Bill Clinton touched her breast, relives her good ol’ sexual harassment days, and wonders why girls today can’t own up to the fact that flirting in the workplace is a great way to get ahead.
What makes all of this so sad is that Perry obviously has some really important stories to tell about what it was like to work in the male-dominated journalism business back in the day. There’s no question she’s been sexually harassed and forced to be a chameleon in order to “get the story.” Why couldn’t she have communicated these critical tidbits without devolving into various forms of unexamined hatred (for self and, well, all women)?
Flirting, in the workplace and elsewhere, is certainly fun, but it isn’t a career strategy for men or women. I’d personally like to be known for my intelligence and dedication, not my tits. If I enjoy some consensual flirting in work atmospheres, that’s cool, but its not going on my CV.
The ending is really the nail in the coffin: “Not unlike a geisha, leave your flip-flops at the door and step into those Jimmy Choos—a sexy gait is worth a little hamstring ache in the long run, don’t you think?”
Wow, where do I start? Maybe Perry should read up on geisha culture before referencing it willy nilly. On the other hand, I guess the parallel makes some sense. Just as many geisha’s were sold as children to geisha houses, and forced to clean up after other people as their first stage of training, Perry is advocating selling out and putting up with men’s shit in the workplace as a way to get ahead.
Perhaps Perry is our best, newest example of internalized oppression. She’s been made to feel like women suck for so long that she actually believes it. I just wish she could spend a couple of hours with the feministing community to see what she’s been missing.