Put it away or no man will want you!
It seems that there is no worse (hetero) dating gaffe than having the nerve to make more money than your significant other. If you’re a woman, that is.
An article in The New York Times styles section looks at successful women and the difficulty they have dating men who make less money. It even comes with a lovely cartoon rendering of a poor, emasculated man. Sigh.
Apparently, women in their 20s in several U.S. cities are (for the first time) out-earning their male peers.
The shift is playing out in new, unanticipated ways on the dating front. Women are encountering forms of hostility they werenâ€™t prepared to meet, and are trying to figure out how to balance pride in their accomplishments against their perceived need to bolster the egos of the men they date.
…Young affluent women say they are learning to advertise their good fortune in a manner very different from their male counterparts. For men, it is accepted, even desirable, to flaunt their high status. Not so for many women.
This just makes me sad. Is masculinity so damn fragile that it can’t handle being treated to dinner? Have women really bought in to the antiquated idea that we need to be taken care of? (Or at least, pretend to be.) I think what depresses me most, actually, is the idea that money is so tied up with our notions of romance.
Take this charming segment from CBS, for example: Reviving Dating Rules. Along the same don’t-emasculate-through-success-and-confidence lines, dating “expert” April Beyer says that women should never pay for dates while in the courting process and never ask men out. Cause it would interfere with their hunter instincts or some such shit.
My boyfriend is five years my junior and an idealistic journalist type. So clearly, not so much with the income-generating. And while it’s made for uncomfortable moments (I really like going out to eat A LOT), he’s cool with the idea of me paying more often than not. I mean, I can afford it. He can’t right now. That’s not gender relations, that’s fucking math.
And frankly, anyone who isn’t comfortable with women being upfront about their financial success probably won’t be comfortable with other successes as well. And therefore un-datable. Thoughts?