Friday Anti-Cat Blogging

I know I’m in the extreme minority of feminist bloggers because I a) don’t own a cat, b) don’t find LOLcats all that funny, and c) don’t really think cats are cute. Which is why Realisticats is for me! A sample of one of these blissfully accurate and grammatically correct images:
pukeinshoes.JPG
Because I want this trend to spread like wildfire, I tried my hand at creating my own — inspired by a real-life event in which my roommate’s cat shredded a dress I had just made to wear to a friend’s wedding:
REALISTICATS.JPG
Make your own, people! Spread the cat-hate! We’re the, um, silent majority in the blogosphere, I swear.

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63 Comments

  1. Daniel Burk
    Posted August 31, 2007 at 11:05 am | Permalink

    Heh. They’re still adorable, though.

  2. Posted August 31, 2007 at 11:07 am | Permalink

    Your plan is not working … even those cats are just sooo cuuuute …

  3. UCLAbodyimage
    Posted August 31, 2007 at 11:08 am | Permalink

    “I know I’m in the extreme minority of feminist bloggers because I a) don’t own a cat, b) don’t find LOLcats all that funny, and c) don’t really think cats are cute. Which is why Realisticats is for me! ”
    Uh oh. Cat fight!

  4. Ann
    Posted August 31, 2007 at 12:22 pm | Permalink

    Kay has an awesome addition.

  5. Taina
    Posted August 31, 2007 at 12:25 pm | Permalink

    YAY! I am not a cat person either so now there’s one more on here- I mean, I wish them no harm, but pls stay away kitties. LOL
    I find dogs to be much cuter LOL (sorry to all the cat lovers!)

  6. Posted August 31, 2007 at 12:36 pm | Permalink

    i am SOOOO sick of the current trendy onslaught of kitty sites like catsthatlooklikehitler and ihascheezburger. do people really have this kind of time on their hands?!? ew.

  7. BluePencils
    Posted August 31, 2007 at 12:37 pm | Permalink

    Those are pretty funny.
    I used to be you, someone who didn’t really like cats. Then I moved in with a man who loved pets, and really wanted one, although we’re not home enough for a dog. So we got Agatha–a huge Maine Coon mix that I absolutely adore. And even find myself babying at times. I’m so ashamed!!

  8. LivvySidhe
    Posted August 31, 2007 at 12:42 pm | Permalink

    BluePencils: my girlfriend had a similar experience. She swore up and down she hated cats, until one day I rescued a kitten who walked in the door and immediately decided She. Was. His. Person. First thing he did upon entering our house was climb onto her chest, purr loudly, and fall asleep. Now she’s totally suckered. She’s even started loving my OTHER cat. You cat-deniers will be assimilated!

  9. madonna85
    Posted August 31, 2007 at 12:49 pm | Permalink

    I’m not a cat fan either
    I wish them no harm
    blah cats

  10. Tattooed Virgin
    Posted August 31, 2007 at 1:18 pm | Permalink

    Haha – this just made my day. I, too, belong to the silent few who just don’t care for cats. Also, they seem to come with a certain unpleasant odor that sticks to one’s home. (Litter box?) Other pets I neither enjoy nor comprehend: Hamsters.

  11. UltraMagnus
    Posted August 31, 2007 at 1:26 pm | Permalink

    *sheepishly rubs foot across dirt*
    I like Icanhascheezeburger. I don’t make any of them but I do check out the website when I’m bored at work.
    I’d say I was 70% dog person and 30% cat person. As a kid I had a cat as a pet and I loved her dearly but I find as I’m growing older I think more and more about owning a dog.

  12. Blitzgal
    Posted August 31, 2007 at 1:33 pm | Permalink

    I also have a Maine Coon mix, BluePencils. He’s the most dog-like cat I’ve ever had — plays fetch, responds to voice commands, and licks people. It’s now my favorite breed of cat. They are such mellow and friendly guys.
    Boo to hatred of ANY animal. I don’t have dogs and don’t prefer them as pets, but I don’t run around bashing them like certain anti-cat people I could name.

  13. midge_ratchet
    Posted August 31, 2007 at 1:44 pm | Permalink

    have you ever noticed how cat-hate is connected in a weird way to misogyny? like, you know, “real men” don’t like cats, they like dogs. only pussies like cats. so i have to say your “cat-hate” isn’t particularly revolutionary here. if you’re tired of “cute cat” websites, don’t go to them.
    i personally hate it when people talk about their children, which i don’t find cute or interesting at all, but i don’t have any inclination to post “i hate babies” pictures. i just ignore them.

  14. rilee morgan
    Posted August 31, 2007 at 1:51 pm | Permalink

    i like cats but if i see another lolcat on a feminist blog i will snap i will just snap i mean i will lose it, people.

  15. SarahMC
    Posted August 31, 2007 at 1:54 pm | Permalink

    I’m with you, midge_ratchet.

  16. Posted August 31, 2007 at 1:55 pm | Permalink

    I’m a cat person, and have been since childhood.
    But, I totally HATE these cutesy LOLCats blogs like “I Can Has Cheezburger?”!!!
    I have an extremely dark sense of humor, so of course, I’m going to be totally not amused by any kind of cutsey DIY hallmark bullshit, such as you find on those sites.
    Also, it seems very stereotypically hyperfeminine – all women are supposed to be cat fanciers who see their feline pets as surrogate children, and who have super saccharine greeting card-type senses of humor.
    I would imagine that women who share my dark sense of humor would find LOLCats type blogs far more irritating and angrymaking than I do, simply because they, as women, are “supposed” to find that kind of unfunny crap amusing.

  17. SarahMC
    Posted August 31, 2007 at 2:00 pm | Permalink

    I fail to see how LOLCats or icanhascheeseburger is “hallmarky” or even feminine. The cats are devious and, I’d say, dark.

  18. Ann
    Posted August 31, 2007 at 2:01 pm | Permalink

    i definitely think there’s a post to be written about the gender issues related to pet preferences.
    this, however, is not it. just having a bit of fun here. for the record, i am not opposed to anyone else owning cats, dogs, or babies. however, i personally want no part of anything whose poo i am responsible for cleaning up.
    also, i wholeheartedly oppose violence against pets or babies. (hey, i’m even a vegetarian! i want so little to do with animals, i don’t even want to eat them.) but i do encourage hearty eye-rolling where appropriate.
    and agreed, it is my personal responsibility to avoid cat-pic websites. but i don’t want to avoid my favorite feminist blogs! (many of which are, let’s face it, fond of posting cat pictures. which is how i became acquainted with LOLcats and their ilk in the first place.)

  19. Kimmy
    Posted August 31, 2007 at 2:03 pm | Permalink

    I’m an all-around animal lover. Dogs, cats, rabbits, hamsters, whatever. Love the furry little suckers to death. I currently have a cat, and she is the recipient of what little maternal instinct I have. I do, however, love her and respect her dignity too much to put her in stupid outfits or take excessively humiliating pictures of her (although some sleeping poses are too cute to pass up).
    That said, I had that cutesy crap with a passion. I’m another one with a dry, dark sense of humor. Kittens clinging to trees on posters that say, “Hang in there?” Kill me, please. Big eyed animals with stupid sayings attributed to them? Give the poor animals to someone who’ll show them some respect. And don’t keep your tiny dogs in your purse. They’re not a piece of make-up, they’re animals. Allow them some dignity, please.
    …And that came out way more bitter than I expected. Seems to be that kind of day.

  20. Andromeda
    Posted August 31, 2007 at 2:08 pm | Permalink

    So a person can only love cats OR dogs not both. And if you love one you must hate/dislike the other and spread the hate around cause its “funny.” If you do the same thing anything else, say americans vs. hispanics or whatever else, I am sure most people would find it to be in very bad taste and NOT FUNNY. I come here to read the latest news on feminism not to read about pointless personal likes/dislikes. As a matter of fact I find it offensive. I don’t think this is funny at all nor do I believe that it belongs here.

  21. marlow
    Posted August 31, 2007 at 2:13 pm | Permalink

    have you ever noticed how cat-hate is connected in a weird way to misogyny? like, you know, “real men” don’t like cats, they like dogs.
    I definitely agree. My mom, who is a generally misguided non-feminist, but a huge cat-lover, has always told me that the best way to judge a man is by whether he’s a cat or dog person. I guess it makes sense too: cats are independent and give reciprocal affection, while dogs are submissive and loyal regardless of mistreatment. Hating cats and liking dogs, or hating all animals has always been a huge red-flag to me when getting to know a person.

  22. Ann
    Posted August 31, 2007 at 2:15 pm | Permalink

    hm. well, andromeda, i think it’s hilarious. perhaps you should start your own All Serious All the Time feminist blog where you are welcome to decide which posts do and don’t belong.

  23. Posted August 31, 2007 at 3:04 pm | Permalink

    I have three cats and I love them and that is why these are hilarious. Cats are kind of the Murphy’s law of pets. I appreciate the fact that they really don’t conform to us because it makes them little revolutionaries….even if they puke in my shoes. :)

  24. Posted August 31, 2007 at 3:04 pm | Permalink

    Love me, love my dog. All 130 pounds of him! To me, cats and small dogs are on par. I like big dogs. Also, as a woman who lives in a rough neighborhood, having a big dog makes me feel safer, even if the most dangerous thing about him is his tongue. :P

  25. UCLAbodyimage
    Posted August 31, 2007 at 3:07 pm | Permalink

    Sorry for the double post, but here is my little puppy!!! He is so good.
    His name is Maychie, which is Bulgarian for “little bear”.
    http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewPicture&friendID=80767226&albumId=0
    I’ve had cats too but they clearly lack the total awesomeness of dogs.

  26. Xana
    Posted August 31, 2007 at 3:22 pm | Permalink

    I’m so glad I’m not alone in my cat hate. I do find some of the LOLCats amusing, but I prefer my LOLTrek –> http://granades.com/2007/05/02/loltrek/
    Dog Lovers Unite!

  27. Andromeda
    Posted August 31, 2007 at 3:31 pm | Permalink

    Ann, I am not saying you cannot have humor. What I am saying is that this is not funny and it has absolutely NOTHING to do with feminism. Besides, you totally miss my point.

  28. hellotampon
    Posted August 31, 2007 at 3:31 pm | Permalink

    My realisticats thing would say, “I paw and meow at your window incessantly all night every night wanting to go in or outside and I take turns doing this with the 3 other cats that live here.”
    Yeah. One fairly small apartment with 3 humans, 3 dogs, 1 snake, and 4 cats. There are 2 more cats and 2 more dogs downstairs. And 2 goats.
    It’s a zoo here but I love it. Except for the people downstairs, whose picture would read, “You can smell my cigarette smoke in your apartment and I take all your water pressure.”

  29. DDay
    Posted August 31, 2007 at 3:38 pm | Permalink

    My realisticats thing would say “I will meow in a way that sounds like a whining 1-year-old child consistantly for weeks at a time because your roommate still hasn’t taken me to get spayed yet.”

  30. bridgetka
    Posted August 31, 2007 at 3:41 pm | Permalink

    My mom, who is a generally misguided non-feminist, but a huge cat-lover, has always told me that the best way to judge a man is by whether he’s a cat or dog person.
    Uh, you don’t think that’s reading a bit into it? Dog people demand loyalty even in the face of abuse? Please. I’d say the best way to judge a man is how he treats me and my loved ones, including my pets.
    I was never really fond of cats, but they’ve grown on me as I’ve worked in an animal shelter–they can be really funny. But given the choice, I’d pick a dog every time. It’s not because I want something submissive, it’s because I just like dogs better. I like a social, happy animal that I can go running and swimming and wrestling with when I’m happy, an animal that will let me throw my arms around him and cry into his fur and give me kisses when I’m sad. It’s simply a personal preference.

  31. AlaraJRogers
    Posted August 31, 2007 at 3:43 pm | Permalink

    I’m pretty sure Hallmark would never make a card that said either “Ceiling Cat is watching you masturbate” or “Oh noez!! Ceiling Cat is watching me masturbate!”
    LOLcats and other cat macros are not, repeat, *not* related to Hallmark or Precious Moments or that type of cutesy humor. They are much more closely related to Aqua Teen Hunger Force and Robot Chicken, in that the dominant zeitgeist for humor for the young and on the internet is, in fact, quite dark but also heavily pop-culture referential (I saw one with a cat with a garbage can lid on its head saying, “Charles! Charles, get out of my head!”, which only makes sense, let alone is funny, if you know X-Men.)
    And I’ve seen dog macros too (my favorite has this huge Doberman barking at a submissive tiny dog with the caption STFU N00B!) In fact I’ve seen people macros (Cory Doctorow saying, “Oh hai! I has balun!”, Trent Reznor throwing a guitar with the caption “DO NOT WANT”).
    That being said, I am a total fan of realism in cats.

  32. sojourner
    Posted August 31, 2007 at 3:44 pm | Permalink

    Andromeda, what is your point? That cats vs. dogs are like “americans vs. hispanics� (because these wo groups are mutually exclusive like cats and dogs are?). You might not think it’s funny but, but other people here clearly think it is.

  33. Posted August 31, 2007 at 3:48 pm | Permalink

    i registered just to say that the misogyny comment is ridiculous. also, i like cats. i think anyone who loves cats is a little off, but i like them. and i envy them for being able to, say, pee on my clothes and not suffer any consequences. we have one now called french fry. say hi to french fry, everyone…

  34. Daniel Burk
    Posted August 31, 2007 at 4:24 pm | Permalink

    The interweb is for pictures of cats. – Warren Ellis

  35. dckatiebug
    Posted August 31, 2007 at 4:30 pm | Permalink

    I just wanted to add my two cents to the idea that you don’t have to be either a cat person or a dog person. I always thought I was exclusively a dog person because I had grown up with exclusively big dogs. But post-college, I kept living in apartments in which I could only have cats (plus I didn’t have the time to commit to a dog). So we adopted a lovely adult kitty from a shelter and we got him a kitten last summer. And now I’m totally a both/and person.
    (Which doesn’t by the way mean that I read or enjoy LOLcats, simply that I wanted to point out that the pet issue doesn’t have to be this polarizing.)

  36. spit
    Posted August 31, 2007 at 4:38 pm | Permalink

    The internet being overrun with pictures of cats has been a problem forever.
    I found this years ago when I was a wee bored computer lab assistant, for example, and was happy to note that it’s still up.
    From the article:
    In a recent study conducted by Richard Little it is estimated that there are over a million billion pictures of cats on the Internet. That number is expected to rise by some 30000000% over the next year. Projections for the year 2,010 show that there will be more cat pictures on the internet than molecules of oxygen in the atmosphere. Of course some critics have questioned Richard’s study pointing to the fact that Richard is only ten and a half and call the study “dangerous, unfounded fiction” Supporters claim it’s not dangerous at all.
    Me? I like cats and dogs, and I think the assumptions we make about the supposed genderedness of their behavior says a lot more about our behavior than theirs. But I have a wee pet-peeve (no pun intended) about excessive anthropomorphizing of unsuspecting animals.

  37. spit
    Posted August 31, 2007 at 4:56 pm | Permalink

    I guess I should clarify that.
    Everybody anthropomorphizes animals some, and sometimes it’s funny. But I’ve known people who really do assign serious human motives and personalities to animals, and it can get annoying.

  38. Roxie
    Posted August 31, 2007 at 5:01 pm | Permalink

    I like cats and dogs.
    I like lolcats and I love this too!
    I just have a lot to go around, I guess! ;)

  39. hellotampon
    Posted August 31, 2007 at 6:03 pm | Permalink

    Ok so I like pictures of cats as much as the next person, I enjoy livenudecats.com, and I just went on LOLcats for the first time ever. I can see the humor in putting captions, but I don’t really understand the bad grammar.
    Can anyone explain?

  40. Roxie
    Posted August 31, 2007 at 6:07 pm | Permalink

    Hellotampon, it’s supposed to be as if the cats wrote it…and apparently cats write like 4 yr olds.

  41. Mina
    Posted August 31, 2007 at 6:25 pm | Permalink

    “And I’ve seen dog macros too (my favorite has this huge Doberman barking at a submissive tiny dog with the caption STFU N00B!) In fact I’ve seen people macros (Cory Doctorow saying, ‘Oh hai! I has balun!’, Trent Reznor throwing a guitar with the caption ‘DO NOT WANT’).”
    How about urban planning macros?
    http://www.cyburbia.org/forums/showthread.php?t=30780

  42. xxhelenaxx
    Posted August 31, 2007 at 6:59 pm | Permalink

    I love cats and dogs both, but yes, some of the things on lolcats make me uncomfortable, either cuz they’re unfunny or uncomfortable.
    Some of them are cute without being saccharine (alot of the kitten pictures, esp. ones that show kittens with their mothers or w/ the faces they make when letting out a good Napoleon-complex yowl…they look like babies!) and genuinely funny (i’m on ur stove, makin’ gas + i’m in ur windoez, flashing ur neyburz).
    The retarded spelling makes it painful.
    Sigh, clearly I visit that site too much…

  43. chingona
    Posted August 31, 2007 at 7:12 pm | Permalink

    Okay, I’m definitely a government dork. I thought those urban planning macros were hilarious. I’m not a planner, but my job has required me to sit through far, far too many Board of Adjustment, Planning and Zoning Commission, etc., etc. meetings. Or maybe what is hilarious is that the whole macro thing has become so widespread that they even have urban planning macros.

  44. Mina
    Posted August 31, 2007 at 10:40 pm | Permalink

    “Okay, I’m definitely a government dork. I thought those urban planning macros were hilarious. I’m not a planner, but my job has required me to sit through far, far too many Board of Adjustment, Planning and Zoning Commission, etc., etc. meetings. Or maybe what is hilarious is that the whole macro thing has become so widespread that they even have urban planning macros.”
    Heh. Ceiling cat is watching you commute:
    http://www.cyburbia.org/forums/showthread.php?t=30740

  45. Doug S.
    Posted August 31, 2007 at 11:49 pm | Permalink
  46. Dinah
    Posted September 1, 2007 at 2:31 am | Permalink

    It should not be forgotten that hate against women always came along with hate against cats, The Unholy Inquisition burned many thousands of cats, together with their owners. Why is it so hard for people to deal with independence, intelligence and pride – both in women and animals?
    I really don’t understand why this kind of “entertainment” is posted on a great website.
    Thaiz from Switzerland

  47. Pickleberry
    Posted September 1, 2007 at 2:47 pm | Permalink

    I generally like most pets that don’t have to be kept in cages and can fit inside the house comfortably.
    I find cats special, however, for their little evil moments (“oops…you didn’t want that vase that was on the top shelf, did you? I was just wondering what would happen if I pushed it off the edge. And by the way, your bedpost makes a much better scratching post than that carpeted monstrosity that cost you $60.”) that can be followed by looks of absolute serenity and the demanding of dinner. I have never seen a cat show remorse.

  48. SarahMC
    Posted September 1, 2007 at 3:05 pm | Permalink

    Cats don’t show remorse because cats are not malicious.

  49. nozaroc
    Posted September 1, 2007 at 5:01 pm | Permalink

    I found sites like icanhascheeseburger funny for a few minutes and then, no. When I tried to figure out why, I realized that they make it out that if cats could actually talk, they’d talk like mentally impaired 7 year olds. To me, if cats could talk, they’d be a lot more sophisticated. It just bothered me.
    I like both dogs and cats, but has anyone noticed when they show a dog food ad, the owners can be both men or women, but a cat food ad will ALWAYS only have women owners!

  50. Doug S.
    Posted September 1, 2007 at 5:36 pm | Permalink

    For the record: LOLcats aren’t talking like mentally impaired 7 year olds. They’re talking in IM-ese, which is a language that superficially resembles but is completely distinct from English.

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