Living your own damn life

There’s been a lot of talk over the past few days about Katie Couric’s interview with John and Elizabeth Edwards last Sunday. I’m not going to rehash what an asshole Couric was, it’s been covered, and I think the whole controvery is ridiculous. I’m sure if John Edwards had removed himself from the campaign, someone out there would be calling him a pussy for it. And because he didn’t, he’s a jerk. Whatever. There’s one thing getting a little lost in the conversation, and it’s underscored by this one quote from the interview. Elizabeth Edwards said:

If I had given up everything that my life was about – first of all, I’d let cancer win before it needed to. You know, maybe eventually it will win. But I’d let it win before I needed to.
And I’d just basically start dying. I don’t want to do that. I want to live. And I want to do the work that I want next year to look like last year and… and the year after that and the year after that. And the only way to do that is to say I’m going to keep on with my life.

This really struck a chord with me for two reasons. First, as someone with a chronic disease, it’s the thing I find the hardest. How do you live with something you can never forget and not let it run your life? I love her comment about not letting the cancer win before you need to.
And second, beyond disease, this is an eloquent way to explain how I think of feminism. None of us can change our biology, control the world as a whole, or even anyone else’s behavior. And we never know what’s going to work, or how long it might take to make change happen. All we can do is refuse to let everything we struggle against get us down, and keep fighting as hard and for as long as possible.
Sorry to get all serious on you. Next week I’ll be back to saying fuck a lot and making fun of Jessica, I promise.

Join the Conversation