I Survived My Purity Ball and All I Got Was This Lousy T-shirt

The Purity Ball industry appears to be expanding. Cee Cee Michaela, star of UPN’s Girlfriends and Purity Party planner extraordinaire, is selling the Purity Princess Survivor Kit. At $65, it includes:

Over 50 items enclosed including the Purity Pledge, the Pink Abstinence Card , valuable information on STD’s and your worth as a girl created by God! From nail enamel quick dry spray, a cute polka dot shower cap to nail glue, a pre-threaded sewing kit, and a dual make up sharpener…this kit is for you! Great for going off to College the Birthday Girl or even a COMING OF AGE gift for when she finally gets her period.

Because nothing says COMING OF AGE quite like a dating ritual with daddy and learning to properly clean the house. And is it just me, or does the use of the word “survivor” in conjunction with the Purity Ball concept make it sound like a veiled reference to child sexual abuse? (Cee Cee does call herself a “Survivor,” but not in that sense.)
In related news, one of our favorite purveyors of purity gear is back with ever-more-offensive designs. This one (below the jump) is surely marketed at Purity Ball princesses:

Ew.