No sex for you, my pretty!


Get ready to lose your shit.
The Abstinence Clearinghouse is hosting a Leadership Conference in Kansas next week with all of the usual misinformation and scare tactics. But this year is a little different. This year has a theme. Wait for it…The Wizard of Oz.

The movie shows a classic struggle of a lost girl and her misfit friends finding their way, against great odds and in the face of risk to reach their full potential. Many of the scenes and themes in this classic movie can be allegories for today’s youth.

Ok, you want a cheesy conference theme? Sure. But the wicked witch of abstinence-only ed, Leslee Unruh, is taking it to the next level.
Just check out some of the panel titles:
If I Only Had a Brain: The Effects of Sex on Brain Physiology
A Horse of a Different Color
(This is a group of hip hop dancers. Ahem.)
And my personal favorite: Ding, Dong, the Witch is Dead! Which Old Witch? (The “Safe-Sex” Witch)
I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried.
Also, there’s a jingle. A jingle!

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25 Comments

  1. Posted May 31, 2006 at 10:16 am | Permalink

    I worked for a very crazy non-profit organization that also chose the Wizard of Oz as a theme. I’m not sure they really understood the movie. Much like the abstinence clearinghouse people….

  2. TheTruth
    Posted May 31, 2006 at 10:20 am | Permalink

    “The movie shows a classic struggle of a lost girl and her misfit friends finding their way, against great odds and in the face of risk to reach their full potential. Many of the scenes and themes in this classic movie can be allegories for today’s youth.”
    I’d say their description was spot on.
    Their application, on the other hand…not so much.
    But, they do have an understanding of the major themes in the work it seems.

  3. Posted May 31, 2006 at 10:45 am | Permalink

    The great and powerful Oz has spoken. And he’s a hack from Kansas. Don’t believe the hype Dorothy! Don’t believe the hype!
    The thing is, the Wizard of Oz is about Dorothy going out into the world and learning things for herself. In the end she realizes there’s no place like home anyway. Perhaps educating our youth so they make the right, informed, decisions makes a little more sense than scaring them with the Wicked Witch of sex.
    Ain’t it the truth! Ain’t it the truth!

  4. k
    Posted May 31, 2006 at 11:53 am | Permalink

    i dont know the theme of wizard of oz seeing as i have never watched it, however, i do know that this cements the fact that these people are absolutely batshit crazy.

  5. Posted May 31, 2006 at 12:45 pm | Permalink

    I guess they haven’t seen “Under the Rainbow.”

  6. Posted May 31, 2006 at 12:58 pm | Permalink

    I just listened to that “jingle”. Damn, all the talk of the hot and spicy, of the many fountains (not a few of which, I’ll bet, are phallic), and then, at the end of the pitch when the singers holds out that long note: “Kansas City here I cooooooaooooome”. Yea, it’s all about abstinence.

  7. Sarah
    Posted May 31, 2006 at 2:28 pm | Permalink

    “11:30 AM – 12:15 PM The Wonderful Wizard of Oz (The State of Federal Abstinence Programs) – Harry Wilson, Administration for Children and Families”
    I love that! The whole idea of the Wizard is a dictator who uses scare tactics and lies to keep the people under his thumb–much like abstinance-only education. What were they THINKING?

  8. chem fem
    Posted May 31, 2006 at 2:32 pm | Permalink

    well in the film the wizard of Oz was a fake……

  9. Posted May 31, 2006 at 5:59 pm | Permalink

    HAHAHAHA!
    Woo, that jingle really hit the spot…

  10. Clio Bluestocking
    Posted May 31, 2006 at 6:43 pm | Permalink

    Didn’t it all turn out that Oz was a dream in the end? (Much like abstinence-only sex-ed.)

  11. Susan
    Posted May 31, 2006 at 8:01 pm | Permalink

    Also, there’s a jingle. A jingle!
    For which they did not pay the licensing fees or get the required permission to alter from Lieber & Stoller, who wrote KC and own the rights. (I have a friend in the business who checked.)
    Typical self-righteous religious wingnut scofflaws! Do they ever practice what they preach?

  12. Posted June 1, 2006 at 4:49 pm | Permalink

    “Typical self-righteous religious wingnut scofflaws! Do they ever practice what they preach?”
    I’ll bet they’re not having sex…

  13. Posted June 1, 2006 at 5:38 pm | Permalink

    lol. “the safe sex witch” come on. Who’d have sex wiht that ugly old thing? I’d prefer to sleep with Dorthy ;p. These people are insane.

  14. Anonymous
    Posted June 1, 2006 at 6:54 pm | Permalink

    what happened to the jingle? i listened to it this morning and now it’s gone

  15. Posted June 1, 2006 at 7:31 pm | Permalink

    Didn’t Mark Chapman (guy who shot John Lennon) think The Wizard of Oz could explain his life?

  16. Anonymous
    Posted June 1, 2006 at 7:39 pm | Permalink

    The jingle is gone because the original song, “Kansas City,” was written by the great songwriting team of Leiber & Stoller. Seems that these so-called proponents of morality didn’t get permission to use the song (much less their parody lyric), so the copyright owners made them remove the jingle from the site.

  17. Susan
    Posted June 1, 2006 at 7:42 pm | Permalink

    what happened to the jingle?
    The abstentionists were introduced to the legal niceties of music licensing.

  18. Lauren
    Posted June 2, 2006 at 10:07 am | Permalink

    I looked at the speakers schedualed for the conference and only one is a woman, Lakita Wright. So here is a classic case of an organazation which targets women by holding them ultimatly responsible for sexual activity. Why not use a male lead to emphasize abstinance? It seems to lend to the idea that women are the moral compass and in order to change society Dorothy must be ware of the wicked witch with her carnal knowledge! UGHHHH

  19. big annie
    Posted June 2, 2006 at 10:10 am | Permalink

    Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.

  20. cathryn
    Posted June 2, 2006 at 3:51 pm | Permalink

    Um, no. The original Wizard of Oz story was merely an allegory expressing disapproval of the gold standard, right?
    No sex involved!

  21. Posted June 5, 2006 at 12:05 am | Permalink

    what happened to the jingle?
    The abstentionists were introduced to the legal niceties of music licensing

    Oh, this is just so *right*

  22. msmms
    Posted June 22, 2006 at 12:39 pm | Permalink

    Another dumb thing about the whole conference. It wasn’t even held in Kansas! Kansas City proper is in Missouri, not Kansas. The whole “Oz” thing doesn’t mean anything in Missouri. Yes, there is a Kansas City, Kansas but that’s not the place most people think of when they think of Kansas City–that one is in Missouri. I’m from Kansas, and yes we have our fair share of nutjobs here, but at least this conference wasn’t held here. Show how ignorant in so many ways the conference planners were. It’s just dumb to do anything “Oz” in Missouri.

  23. mimo92
    Posted January 3, 2007 at 12:03 am | Permalink

    “Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.”
    Because that man has condoms.

  24. Posted May 3, 2007 at 3:49 pm | Permalink

    I used to work in Kansas City Ks on Rainbow Blvd. I can’t tell you how funny people out of town found that.
    And on the Missouri side, no one does Oz stuff.

  25. Chantelle83
    Posted May 3, 2007 at 3:57 pm | Permalink

    What’s this abstentionist obsession with young people reaching “full potential” in life?
    What kind of person actually reaches this magical blissful state, and why does that make them better or happier than someone who has not “reached their full potential” – i suppose by having pre-marital sex?
    I’d actually love to know the difference.
    I keep wondering what the constant pressure for perfection is doing to the right-wing youngsters. What will eventually happen to those who won’t or can’t become the fulfilled people their parents and communities want them to be?

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