What you didn’t know about meeting a guy.

This is such crap, but because I love to deconstruct, I will have to engage with this (potentially mock if anyone knows?) piece on why women are not meeting men. You know we at feministing love advice on how to meet a man. Because that is the only reason I am even writing this blog, in the vain hope that I will somehow meet a man while doing it. mwahahahaha.
DC Bachelor gives us 7 tips (shortened) on what straight women are doing wrong trying to meet a man. (ignoring the fact that *trying* is the wrongest of them all)
1. Stop turning down social invitations.
2. Always be prepared with lipstick and business card, because you never know.
3. Don’t dress comfy, dress fancy.
4. Stop being a bitch.
4a. Quit trying to act like you are the hottest shit on the planet.
5. Go to places where you will meet men you like.
6. Read a book, go to the movies, *develop* yourself.
7. Don’t read into things.
Oh dear, so so wrong.
1. I am a working lady, going out to just meet guys is a total waste of my time. I have interests, musical tastes, FRIENDS, an appetite, a personality.
2. I always have lipstick and business cards. Lipstick because I like to be diva when debating politics and business cards to turn people onto blogging. But guys aren’t usually turned on by the fact that I write for a feminist blog. But that is no doubt their loss. Everyone knows feminists do it better.
3. Your style should reflect your personality. Why be something you are not? If you want to wear comfy shoes, wear comfy shoes. Back problems, foot problems etc, not worth a second glance from a dude. Plus it is easier to step on a guys arms with sneaks on, when sitting on his face.
4. NO, stop being an asshole. I have a reason to be a bitch (and I am proud to be one), what is your problem.
4a. I am afraid not thinking I am the hottest shit on the planet would be impossible.
5. See answer to number 1. I am too busy to waste time trying to meet a man. Best place I meet guys is in gay bars, because gay men know how to treat women and not use word, thoughts, sex, emotions as power (most of the time;). Plus, most places that are for singles play BAD music. I hate bad music.
6. Develop yourself, for yourself. Give me a break. I am more well read than half the men I know (and I know some damn smart men).
7. This totally reminds of “he is just not that into you” crap. Yes ladies, support men in saying that they are just a certain way. They don’t have feelings, thoughts, or planned actions, just words. They are producing words in a vacuum with no meaning or cultural references, no power dynamics. This is definitely a way men and women can work together to perpetuate gender difference and cross gender understanding. Nice one. Give him an excuse to be able to continue his implicit and subversive power over you. And his silence in his own construction of masculinity.
What DC Bachelor is failing to realize is that many straight women don’t go out to meet men, they don’t try and they bitch because it is a total waste of time. There is no alternative narrative telling women, it is okay if you don’t want to go out there and find a man. So we are caught in the middle, recognizing something is not right about the inherently sexist structure of dating, but feeling pressure to do it anyway.
How about a dating guide for that? “How to debunk patriarchy while getting laid.”
What ticks me off the most is if you identify or are identified as a straight woman and you are not devoting your life to meeting a man, something is wrong with you. Now, today in 2006, women are still told/taught that all this other stuff (taking over the world with beauty and brilliance) they are doing is cute, but the goal is to meet a manses.
I would take DC Bachelor’s advice if you have no self-esteem and would like to re-cycle patriarchy, over and over and over. Or if you are interested in meeting guys that don’t like women, they like puppets, acting, playing, believing they are something that doesn’t exist. A social construction of how women should be, not a recognition of what/who they are.
I realize this post was an easy target, as is this blog, but I had to. There are people that really feel this way.

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