So step right up, ladies. Your labia may not be up to snuff – they may extrude too much or lack youthful plumpness – but a quick nip/tuck or strategic injection of fat from Dr. 90210 and his colleagues will take care of that. And thanks to the wonders of hymenoplasty, you can get to be a virgin – or at least like a virgin – all over again. From where I sit, life looks to be one long Madonna-esque self-invention tour, and there’s nothing to be done but to grin, tighten your Kegel muscles and bear it.
Now, if only I could get over my third grade sense of humor and stop giggling to myself over author Daphne Merkin’s last name.