A tally ho

Amanda points to Hugo’s great post on one’s “number” and the sexual double standard. Go read both posts immediately. I’m especially keen on Hugo’s discussion of homosociality (the idea that men are more concerned with other males’ approval than of women’s).
My first experience with the sexual double standard came after a “we’re on a break” hiatus with a high school boyfriend. Though both of us had seen other people during the break, I was the big slut. The explanation was predictable (though bizarre): men are meant to be polygamous, and women need to remain monogamous in order to curb STD rates. I know, weird stuff.
Since then, the sexual double standard has continued to be one of the most infuriating aspects of sexism for me. I’ve seen otherwise great male friends turn away from potential girlfriends because of their number of sexual partners; I’ve had feminist friends upon hearing my own number tell me I must must must keep it a secret from a current boyfriend. What’s strangest to me is that people will admit the flawed logic behind all this, yet still adhere to the rules of the game. Don’t tell your number, or if you do–shave a couple of partners off the list.
No matter where the double standard comes from, or whatever male (or female) sexual anxiety it feeds off of, I think it’s necessary to address it head on. If we keep dancing around the issue, making excuses for not telling our number, aren’t we implicitly saying that it’s a shameful thing?
Though I must say, Hugo makes a very good point in his argument for a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy:
A true lover can say, “Before there was an ‘us’, there was a ‘you’ and a ‘me’, and I will never use what you did in the past against you. I honor your right to have lived the life you chose to live before we were together, and I ask that you honor my right to my past as well.”
Personally, I will always tell my partner my ‘number’. Their reaction is a tremendous indicator of their character and how they really feel about women. But this is just me. Any thoughts?